I let it go

I like meaningful conversations with friends, music concerts, or other social activities. But I am inclined to be an introvert. 

I feel overwhelmed when chatting with people who don't listen to me or topics that don't fit with me. It makes me feel like I am not who I am.

I find it so hard to express my feelings too. For example, I cannot display my feeling naturally at my birthday party with some people not too familiar. I just wanna fade away. 

I often observe things deeply and feel fear of missing something if there is a distraction. So I tend to do alone rather than with people who don't get along with me

It drains my energy and the main reason for it all is overthinking. Luckily, I found out what I should do. I cannot fit with everyone and all conversations. Be yourself. Be confident. Don't think too much what others think about you. Just take it easy. 

I sometimes think about people who express themself easily and naturally and just wanna be like them. As a sentence quoted in The thorn birds movies I mentioned in the Interesting Sentences of my previous post. I do understand that I have to choose. I cannot let it go until I choose. A person is like them who think more easily and does not much care about many things (from my perspective) or still me, by contrast, is very complicated. 

I ultimately choose to still be myself. I was awkward occasionally but I also lived fully. I was full with all my feeling and very happy. Importantly, I got vital lessons and experience for my own. 

Anyway, It is far better that I am still me but with a better version. So, I chose and then I won't think about it anymore. I let it go :D

P.S I named I am an introvert at the beginning. Now I want to change it to I let it go after writing the entire post.

Nghe An, December 9th, 2021