Two parallel lines

Since I can work from home tomorrow, I didn't need to sleep early tonight. Somehow, I just feel like writing down these thoughts.

So far, I haven't had much smoothness in romance. I stay positive, but sometimes I still feel a little sad about my fate. Still, I've never seen anyone as strong as me. If I can't see a future with someone, even if I once liked them, when it ends, I never regret, no second words. I do exactly what I remind myself to do. I keep my patience and carry hope. Maybe I'm good at hiding my feelings, or I'm just too rational. And also perhaps they're simply not the battles I'm meant to fight.

I don't think career and relationships are two parallel lines. One can influence the other.  At this point in my life, I feel caught between career and relationship. My career presents difficulty and my relationship carries uncertainty. If my career isn't what I truly want, then my relationship doesn't feel genuine either because I haven't truly settled down, still carrying unfinished desires. The longer I delay moving my career forward, the longer I remain stuck in a place where neither my career nor my relationship feels true to me. As for my career, I want to continue my studies abroad and pursue a higher degree.

A relationship is something I can't fully control. My career, however, is something no one else can do for me, it's mostly in my hands. I know this is a hard phase of my life. When I see the road ahead more clearly, when I know where to put my focus, I believe I can have both: the career and the relationship I want. And I also know it will take time.

Before I left Korea, I thought that starting a PhD right away would be truly difficult, both a challenging and a lonely road. I held onto a small hope that if I could find someone beside me, the loneliness would be less heavy, and the path would be easier. That's why I wanted to give myself some slow time, and it became one of the reasons I decided to return to Vietnam.

After more than a year back, I continued to work and reflect with many things happening. I realize how much I have grown. I discovered something more important: my fear of difficulty and loneliness has disappeared. Instead, I see this as a beautiful path, and I know I am strong enough to strive for what I long for, while still staying open to the relationship and opportunities life may bring. Once again, I will continue to walk this path alone for the time being and I am ready for it. It may look the same, me walking this path alone, but inside, my mindset is different. I am stronger now, carrying not just determination but also peace.

Many of my friends are married now. Each of their families reflects their personalities in some way. Sometimes, I wonder what kind of family I will have. I know things won't always go my way, and life won't always be as beautiful as I imagine. But I'm sure about one thing: I am very selective and careful about who I let into my life (Input). And I believe that is a good foundation for a happy family (Output).

PS. I visited the place in the video. 

Hanoi, August 21, 2025