Left behind, or accepting the path is different?

There are moments when I pause and realize how much the world around me has changed. My friends have moved forward in ways that seem so seamless, as if they always knew where life would take them. Meanwhile, I find myself walking a different path, one that feels slower, less certain. In some ways, I can't help but feel left behind.

• Years ago, my friends began caring about their looks --- experimenting with styles, building beauty routines, and refining their presence. Meanwhile, I was buried with academic struggles, barely managing the simplest acts of self-care. Looking good wasn't a priority when I was just trying to keep up.

• They embraced love and relationships early, experiencing the first dates, deep connections, and heartbreaks that shaped them. I, on the other hand, was consumed by my emotions, wrestling with academic pressures and personal battles that made romance feel secondary.

• They built their careers by stepping into the professional world, learning from colleagues, managers, and company cultures. Their experiences shaped their confidence, their work ethic, and their sense of belonging and success in their industries. Meanwhile, my world revolved around lab work, research papers, and professors --- supportive, yes, but far removed from the kind of experience they were gaining. At times, I still feel small in my academic pursuit.

• Now, they are entering new phases --- beautiful weddings, cozy homes, the joys and chaos of raising children. They are settling into lives that feel stable, secure, and full of love. And here I am, still traveling, still exploring, still trying to piece together my purpose.

What I Have

But just because my journey looks different doesn't mean it is any less valuable. When I reflect on what I have, I realize my life holds its own kind of richness.

• I have the courage to follow my dreams, even when the path is unclear and full of obstacles. And I have lived with my dreams every day.

• I have the patience to understand myself, to grow in ways that aren't dictated by timelines or expectations. And I have come to clearly understand both my strengths and limitations. I have learned to transform my shortcomings into strengths.

• I have the freedom to explore, to move at my own pace, to wander without feeling the pressure of where I should be. And I am here, writing my own story, with no regrets.

• I have built resilience, learning how to navigate life's uncertainties without the safety net of a traditional path. And I have found ways to rise above challenges, refusing to let anything defeat me. I carry a dream so big it pushes me to reach higher.

• I am more confident now --- more sure of who I am, more selective about what truly matters, and more cautious with where I invest my energy. I take fewer unnecessary risks, but I still allow myself to experience life fully.

• I have a heart that values passion over convention, meaning over milestones. I may not have checked off the typical life markers at the same pace as others, but I am building something uniquely mine. As if it was always meant for me.

A Different Lens

Looking back, I realize that what once seemed like being "left behind" was actually time spent building a foundation --- one that allows me to move forward with clarity and purpose.

• Looks don't change much over time. Beauty and self-care were not my priorities back then, but I still experimented with style. Now I see my own style and confidence emerging. I appreciate the unique and artistic perspective I bring to the way I present myself, and I take care of my appearance not to conform, but to express who I am.

• Love didn’t feel urgent for me, and looking back, I’m at peace with that—it was my choice. I never rushed into relationships before I truly understood myself and what I wanted. I didn’t waste time on meaningless connections or relationships that would have drained me. Instead, I observed, I learned, and I waited. I have built a strong foundation to cherish the journey of love, find a true partner, and ensure that no wrong relationship ever has the power diminishes me.

• I may not have had early corporate experience, but I built a strong foundation in research, in critical thinking, in patience. The skills I gained --- resilience, adaptability, the ability to work deeply on complex problems --- are just as valuable as navigating office dynamics.

• I don't have a family of my own yet, but I am preparing for this journey with intention. I am not in a rush to build a life that isn't ready to flourish yet. When I do step into this phase, it will be with deep understanding, with purpose, and with the confidence that I am choosing it at the right time for me. It's a journey I long for --- one that, when it begins, I hope will last forever.

Maybe I have been left behind in some ways. Or maybe, I am simply moving forward on a path that belongs only to me. And maybe that’s okay.

PS.

                                                                                                               Hanoi, March 17, 2025