Little things #21

#84. When the road feels long

After investing energy in getting to know several men and realizing things didn't work out, I see myself that the moments I feel most peaceful are when I'm alone. 

I understand that the beginning of the relationship, the getting-to-know phase, requires extra energy, vulnerability, and hope. It's natural to feel tired during this time because these people are new, unfamiliar, and it takes effort to open up. With more experience and clearer boundaries, this process becomes smoother. That is when we begin to recognize what feels right more quickly, and protect our energy more wisely, and move forward with greater clarity and confidence.

I still believe this: after passing through that beginning, I'll find more joy, not more confusion. Because when I meet someone who truly aligns with me, the connection will flow naturally, and the effort will feel meaningful.

Today, I read a sentence that struck me deeply:

“Sometimes, we choose a man based on what he has done for us, rather than who he makes us become.”

So I leave this note here for my future self, for the days when I feel tired or tempted to settle:

Never choose less than the life you know you can build on your own. Wait for the one who reminds you of your own strength and mirrors the best in you.

And I know this, too:
If you want to find someone who aligns with your life, you must be in the process of creating that life yourself. I've seen this in the happiest relationships around me, the ones built not on waiting, or searching but on becoming.

Right now, I'm not yet living the life I want to settle into, neither in my career nor in a relationship. I choose to create the career I want to grow in. I choose to build a life that feels true to me. I believe that one day, I'll meet someone on the way who aligns with the life I'm creating. Because for me, my career is a deal breaker.

#85. I am a huge fan of Sia

#86. Whatever we do should involve real effort

I rarely find myself in situations where I have to do things I don't like. Looking back, the few times I've truly pushed myself to adapt were during my studies, especially when working in teams. In those moments, I learned to compromise, set my ego aside, understand others, and stay committed to my goals. I think that showed a sense of maturity and focus on the bigger picture.

I have a personal YouTube channel that I use casually. It's just for fun --- a space to share whatever I feel like. It's not professional, and I only post when I feel motivated.

If, one day, I decide to grow a more professional channel based on my interests, I think I would still keep the same spirit. I'd want to share what feels meaningful to me, and only when I feel a genuine urge to create. I value inspiration over pressure. Motivation can be unpredictable, so I try to support it with light planning, like journaling ideas, loosely scheduling content, or recording when I'm in flow. That way, I can stay consistent and authentic.

I understand that to build a successful and trendy channel, you often need to be consistent, meet audience demands, and treat it like a job. I get that. And that's why I've never chosen YouTube as a career.

Still, I believe that whatever we do should involve real effort and it should bring value to others. I know I can connect with a specific group of people. I don't need to attract everyone. That, to me, is success: building deep impact for a certain group, while also staying connected to myself. I want to create when I want, in a way that still gives me time for myself.

As I've said before in this post, success --- for me --- is having many choices.

#87. A professional YouTube channel

I have an idea for a professional YouTube channel --- something that aligns with my interests, fits my strengths, and gives me the freedom to create and grow my creative skills. It feels like the right direction for me.

But I also feel that I need more experience, more growth, and a few more personal wins before I fully commit to it. I understand it may take time before I'm truly ready to create work with meaningful, lasting impact.

#88. Through Chess, I see it

Lately, I've been playing chess a lot. It brings back memories of my childhood --- the moments spent with my siblings and friends, bent over the board, caught between strategy, silence, sudden bursts and laughter.

I've started to notice some interesting things about the game:

• The beginning feels like deploying troops --- cautious and strategic. You're scouting the enemy, weighing risks and rewards before making a move.

• Then comes the strong attack --- sudden, powerful, and often decisive.

• When your army is small, the road becomes clearer. With fewer pieces, decisions feel lighter, and the strategy sharpens.

• Sometimes, two enemies stand close but powerless against each other --- like two bishops of opposite color. They're near, but their paths never truly cross.

• Through chess, life mirrors back in quiet, revealing ways --- our fears, our habits, the urge to take risks or stay safe. It shows whether we are patient or quick, whether we attack or endure. Each move says something. There is still more to explore.

Hanoi, June 06, 2025